So we’ve gone from a dark swirl of misery to a golden Buddha. Think this ups my chances of becoming enlightened?
Many people must struggle with the same problems of laziness and futility. It just seems too hard sometimes to believe that incremental steps can actually add up to noticeable improvement. (Ex: I know meditating for an hour a day would make measurable differences in my stress levels and even neural connections. But an HOUR?! Who has the time?) Meditation, exercise, talking to friends… Everything seems to fall by the wayside of good intentions when faced with the choice between deep personal work and, I don’t know, Battlestar Galactica and a vodka tonic.
The one area of my life that I apparently will not skimp on in any way is my cooking. I will pare grocery shopping down to ridiculous levels; I will stress about the cost of bell peppers. But — and this isn’t a conscious decision, but apparently a deeply held assumption and value — I will NOT spend less than a hour cooking dinner.
Why? God knows. I guess it’s the single space in which I can regularly be relaxed and creative, even if it only satisfies my own tastes. It’s mental alone time, away from the demands of work, and at best away from the screaming of kids. (I wish we cooked together sometimes, but food doesn’t interest Jason on the same terrain.) And I am fundamentally unwilling to eat crap. Actually, scratch the philosophizing. I think that’s the real reason.
Not to say that I won’t eat things that are awful for you. I cooked pancakes and bacon this morning, and I’m heating up oil for fried chicken tonight. But at least nearly everything we eat, I make from scratch. Nothing comes from a box or the freezer; nothing is full of mystery ingredients. Nothing comes pre-stamped with colorful images of Disney marketing. (Seriously, I saw boxes today at Walmart of individual rounds of raw cookie dough with cartoon characters on them. Disgusting.)
This probably makes me a really smug bitch on the food front, but there you have it. I have standards. But as you can see from my new masthead image, even Buddha had to eat — and I’d be surprised if he didn’t enjoy it.
